Noble manners: 4 matters that are regarded as pillars of morals and manners
The Prophet ﷺ said “Verily, I have only been sent to perfect noble character” or “righteous character.”
In islām virtuous conduct and complete good manners are encouraged. In fact when asked about the greatest of what a person may enter Jannah with, the Prophet ﷺ replied “Having taqwa of الله and good character.” And he ﷺ also said “Verily, the dearest of you to me and the closest of you to me on the Day of Judgment will be those of you who are best in conduct.”
So a Muslim must pay proper care, attention and have a great concern regarding this as it's the epitome of his happiness and success in dunya and Ākhirah.
Islāmic mannerisms are based on four pillars.
Speech of tounge must be controlled and restricted to what is good for as long as the speech is not spoken, you're its owner but once you utter it, it owns you!
“May your mother be bereaved of you ‘O Mu’adh! Is there anything that flings the people into the Hell-fire (prostrate) upon their faces other than what their own tongues have harvested?!”
So taking oneself into account and reflecting upon the speech before uttering it is from the beauty of an individual. In this case any of the 3 scenerios will apply to the speech:
• Either it's clearly something good so speaking it will not harm.
• Either it's something clearly evil (backbiting, lying, gossiping etc.).Then one has to abstain from such speech even a single word.
•Or it's something doubtful and unclear on whether it's good or evil. So it should still be left unsaid in order to avoid falling into doubtful matters which is best for safeguarding ones religion and honour, we are to leave off doubtful matters for what doesn't make us doubtful.
Second pillar is one should refrain from interfering and delving into something that doesn't concern him. So he should avoid any kind of involvement in something which doesn't concern him in his speech, sight and hearing. However this is in way of legislative guidelines so one shouldn't understand it with an incorrect understanding and apply it as per his whims and desires like many of those who do. They upon being advised and commanded to do good and forbidden from doing evil reply the advisor with “From the goodness of a person’s Islam is that he leaves off
that which does not concern him.” This is an incorrect application because forbidding evil and commanding good is from the matters which definitely concerns the Muslims. So this is not intended by this statement that a Muslim leaves of advising, enjoining good and forbidding evil.
The third is that one shouldn't allow himself to be driven by his emotions particularly anger. It has been said regarding anger
“Anger…the first part of it is insanity and the final stage is regret”
So one must not proceed with any speech or action when he's emotional and in intense anger for actions or speech in such moments are often indisciplined and brings harmful, unpraiseworthy outcomes at end. Hence the Prophet ﷺ said : “When one of you becomes angry while he is standing, then let him sit down, and if the anger has left him (that is good), otherwise let him lie down.” and “When one of you becomes angry then let him remain silent!”
The fourth matter is soundness of the heart that it should be freed from jealousy, malice, grudges and similar things which are from the diseases and illnesses of the heart. The soundness of the heart is a requirement and is sought for because if it's corrupt then the effects of this hidden corruption will also appear outwardly and affect his outward action hence the Prophet ﷺ said - “None of you will (truly) believe until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself.” If someone reached the level of actualising this narration then he has truly safeguarded and cleansed his heart and soul from inner evil and corruption.
These were the 4 pillars upon which good character is established.
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